I have always been a seeker and for the better part of the last fifteen years, I sought. I went looking outside of myself for my spiritual gifts, for love, for peace for anyone to tell me the answers to life. I thought they were contained in a person, a place or a thing. They were NOT.
My internal journey was not easy but loving and embracing all of these things finally lightened my load.
Your judgment of others is the perfect mirror for what needs your compassionate healing attention within.
I've made oodles of mistakes, hurt people, hurt myself, and still felt such an emptiness. I've jumped on the bandwagon with promises of enlightenment and relief, but they were temporary fixes or another opportunity of feeling like I failed. I put on sparkly band aids of false positivity and lost myself in people and distractions.
However, I was right on track because my life was on the way to a major derailment. One so huge and heartbreaking that I had nowhere else to go. I tried my old behaviors, I tried to “fix it” but none of it was working. I shook my fist, I begged, I pleaded and finally without any other viable options; I surrendered.
That is when my spiritual life started. From the wreckage of my life I started the process of bringing to light all of the things I wanted to avoid, suppress or “make better.” My internal journey was not easy but loving and embracing all of these things finally lightened my load. I had found my answers inside of me. I found my abilities in all the things I thought were wrong with me. I was in fact what I was so desperately seeking.
I continue this inward journey on a daily basis. Loving what comes up and acknowledging the people in my life who challenge me, love me, support me and help me to go deeper. Through these journey's is where my intuitive, healer, teacher and mentor skills were born.